This is really difficult for me, but it’s been a long time coming. Even posting this in the tg community, where I know I will find support, I worry about backlash, but I really need to get this off my chest. Though, I’ve confided this information to a few people to the larger tg community via personal message or email, I have kept it hidden from the community at large. So, here goes…<\/p>\n
You know when I first got involved with TG community, I was convinced my interest in tg was just that an interest and nothing more than a fetish. Even back then I was uncomfortable actually calling it a fetish, my interest never really seemed all that fetishy to be honest, but I really had no better term for it. Certainly, there is a sexual element to my stories, but it didn’t define them.<\/p>\n
The more and more I delve into my own past and really explore different themes with my writing, the more and more I come to the conclusion I may actually be trans.<\/p>\n
I’d had doubts for a while, but I think they finally came to a head after one particular event. It happened when I felt a surge of jealousy when being helped by a pretty girl at a local eatery. She wasn’t attractive enough to grace the pages of a magazine or anything, but she’d had a certain sort of girl-next-door charm to which I’d always been drawn. I remained polite to her, as these strange new feelings seethed under my calm facade. Her service was exemplary and I left a perhaps too generous of a tip, largely because I felt guilt for the uncharitable thoughts I’d sent her way. As I was leaving I found myself uttering a single sentence that shook me to my core.<\/p>\n
“You don’t know how lucky you are.”<\/p>\n
The girl seemed confused and I didn’t really stick around to explain myself. I never returned, convinced, however irrationally, that she must have figured out what I’d meant.<\/p>\n