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Twelve Years

02/14/2021

TW: Sexual Abuse

Twelve years ago today, I created my first TG email address. I’d been visiting sites like metamorphose.org and Fictionmania for years before that, but this is the first milestone I have any way of tracing. This was long before my egg cracked, but at a point where I was trying to reconcile my religious and political viewpoints with my interest in ‘becoming a woman’. I had doubts about my identity, even then, but it wasn’t until last year that I finally accepted the truth.

I wonder what my life would be like then, had I accepted myself and begun my transition at twenty-three, but I think in many ways I was not ready to take that step. I am introverted and rather shy by nature, and coupled with the sexual abuse I suffered as a child, I had retreated into myself. It took me years to come out of my shell, but even now I am plagued by anxiety.

I still have a long journey ahead of me, and many hurtles to overcome, but I feel like it will be well worth it in the end.

Have a delightfully devious Valentine’s Day,

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