A man received the wrong item from a catalog order, but when he discovers that the gender-bending ray he received really does work, he doesn’t hold back.
“Calm down Stormy!” I patted my pet’s head. He hadn’t quite reached the end of puppy-hood, but given his size he was getting pretty difficult to handle especially since I hadn’t quite managed to break him of all his bad habits.
Stormageddon plopped down and looked back at me with a big old doggie grin on his face. The last time he’d pulled this crap I’d spent almost five minutes trying to get the wry little bastard to sit up again. “Come on man.”
I felt an unexpected weight in my jacket pocket and looked up just in time to see some pale-skinned spook in a leather jacket breeze past me. “Weird.” I reached inside and pulled free what he had deposited there, a chincy little toy raygun.
“The Gend-O-Matic.” I traced my hands along the logo on the handle. “WARNING! Only intended for use on humans.”
“Aethermysts,” I whispered, remembering that weird ass catalog I’d found in the dumpster a few weeks ago. I’d sent for something from it and I could have sworn I’d ordered the Mach-O-Blaster, but then again I’d been a little drunker than I cared to admit. I could have checked the wrong box on the order form.
The weird delivery method notwithstanding, there was no way I was buying the whole magic gender bender ray thing. I almost tossed the stupid thing in the garbage, but then I shook my head pointed it at Stormy and pulled the trigger. I really didn’t expect anything to happen. So, you can imagine my surprise when the gun recoiled and after a brief flash of light Stormy was looking a little different.
Sitting there on her ass stark naked, with her tongue waggling out of her mouth, was a rather fuck-tastic vixen who happened to have a set of dog ears and a tail. I gasped and looked down at the weapon with wide eyes.
I felt like a geek in a electronics store who’d just been handed an all-you-can-buy gift card. I started shooting everything in sight, starting with a squirrel who transformed into a buff dude with those goofy ears and bushy tail, next I fired on a cat who turned out just as vivacious as stormy. There were people there too, men, women and a couple of kids, none of them were spared. Once they’d been hit by the gun no one was immune to it’s effects. I pulled the trigger one last time, but the gun clicked and did nothing.
It got real hot real fast and I dropped it before it could burn my hands. There was a brilliant luminescent explosion and when my vision cleared I was looking up at the clear blue sky. A pretty face leaned over and I felt a hand on my shoulder. “It got you too, whatever that was, didn’t it?”
I gasped and reached out to my chest and confirmed my worst fears. “Yup, definitely chincy.”
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